Inside the Outback

Our Outback Adventure

Part III Inside the Outback

          We'd spent about two hours on this journey so far, it was long overdue to find the restaurant, and the boys we're excited ( as you can see) to have finally arrived. We'd lost a lot of hope along the way, but walking up these steps restored our faith in humanity, and it's ability in engineering a global positioning unit of any amount of use. We were cold and tired and hungry but we finally could satiate all these issues. We made our way inside and told them it was a table for three, and they told us in a very happy tone "Neh! 45 minutes! " (neh, ngh, or yay are all various phonetic ways of say yes in Korean) 


          45 minutes?!?!? AUGH, yet another set back for us, but at least there were tiny bench seats and heat. It was much Better than wandering aimlessly outside. I was getting dis-heartened again, but the boys were being positive and I felt that was enough reason to cheer up and enjoy the atmosphere.

        The three of us did our best to sit on our little bench since the waiting booth areas where all full up with people. It was definitely a good sign that they were this busy on a late afternoon. I snapped a shot of the neat display above our heads that describes the 17 signature spices the restaurant is famous for. I found it kitchsy and bemusing, but the boys couldn't care less.

          They spent their time talking about Corvettes and police cars and how Jeremy Clarkson is a god. How he should be worshipped every sunday by doing donuts in a different neighbor's yard, or something thereabouts, because thats all I ever hear coming from them anyway. I did respectable adult time wasters and fiddled on Facebook and Twitter while desperately trying to salvage my collection on Mushroom Garden Deluxe. Soon enough the time passed on and we got seated into a nice booth in the back, and we're handed some conspicuously under-used English menus to order with.

          After flipping open the menu, I was greeted by something the koreans have distinctly taken for themselves: Ades. As in lemonade. Its my personal russian roulette when ordering these. Korea's idea of an ade is a seltzer water combined with a sweetener and some form of concentrated fruit. Ah, but this is where it's deceptive. Sometimes the concentrate is made of fruit juice, which leads to magical deliciousness in beverage form. But other times, the concentrate is made from dried up bits of pulp or skin, and you're left with sour orange rind death in a glass.

           This is me being melodramatic, of course, but I don't even like pulp in my orange juice, so having a thick bottom of re-hydrated goopy orange skin, to try and not swallow, is frustrating to me. Mostly because drink servings are so small here and it's all you will be able to have with the meal. I personally drink like a camel, to a lot of people's horror and amusement. It's not odd for me to be taking down 2 to 5 medium drinks in one meal. Unfortunately complementary drinks here are in dixie cups or shot glasses and consist of a small lukewarm bottle of faucet water. I won't complain about free water, I'm from the desert after all. But, I like to wash down my food with Niagara Fall's second cousin, twice removed, who moved to Alaska to find themselves and came back. As a beautiful, brown, mottled plastic glass of ice water. All covered in condensation on the outside, and placed before me like a sign from heaven. Boy do I miss large, free glasses of filtered water.

          We were thirsty and tired so it was suggested we poke the angry dog and order up a mango-ade pitcher for the table, while we tried to make up our minds on what to eat. It arrived two shakes of a lamb's tail later, and chrissake it was fantastic~! Things just got better and better despite my eternal pessimism. And a whole pitcher of it! oh good god, this meant more than one drink. I was done here, I could be satisfied with that alone, no food needed, just bring me more of this excellent mango magic! (and if you happen to tip some rum in it, I wont be objecting!) But I was still lucky enough to order food, and my Irish eyes lit aflame with the menu's Texas Fries. I was trying to remember the last time I had them. I missed them so much, I could write poems surpassing all poems (at a third grade level) for my love of cheese and bacon covered fries. I have sick fantasies of them covered in ranch and being fed to me through a funnel. Not truly of course. I'd never admit to anything like that. *cough*

          It took us a little while to converse with the waiter, because my korean is poor and my english is fast, difficult, and backwards (as you've probably figured out from reading all of this).  I got to order my heaven injection Texas Fries, while the boys ordered pasta and a sample platter. I pulled out my journal to take some notes and talked with them while we waited. at one point a very intelligent question was asked, which was as follows: "Why can't you have guns in Skyrim?" to which I replied, " I don't think it would matter any more who was Dovahkiin if everyone was strapped with an AK47. " Seriously would be funny to see that game devolve into Grand Theft Dragon: Skyrim; where the giants are the cops and chase you down for bumping into horses, and you can loot opium from the different potion dens in all the hidden caves. The conversation slowly devolved after that, when the boys had their moment of Clarkson worship by propping up a phone and watching an episode of top gear. I went back to my note taking and photo snapping, and enjoyed the relaxation in mango bliss.

         " In the name of the Clarkson, the Hammond, and the May, we pray to thee our future prosperity in leather lined seats drawn from power beyond horses of our imaginations. We promise to make all turns sharp and relish wet weather as a challenge."

          "We will NEVER stoop to the ultimate sin of driving a PT Cruiser, and we will continue to hold our own vehicle biases until our dying breath, In the name of all five gears and reverse, Amen"
 ~Kelly Blue Book 20:13

          After the boys had a sufficient amount of car googly-eyes, our food arrived and boy did it look delicious~! This was our friends impressive sample platter. Everything was the same, other than the blooming onion centerpiece. Here, they have a blooming mushroom, which was completely delicious! The mushrooms tasted more of chicken and soup than anything else and where very juicy when you bit into them. They are definitely something I would order again and again. but I had my own food to be tending to...

Oh potatoes, how I love thee,

let me count the ways,

which I can cook you and enjoy

your starch deliciousness for days!

I weep tears when you are gone

from my local grocer's store.

I want to slather you in ranch

 and kiss your skin, forevermore~

          My husband realized I was taking photos of the food and felt this was a perfect time to cement this face into the history of the internet. Ah a face only me and his mother could love! I jest, my husband is quite attractive, but he likes to make ridiculous faces just so I look at him unamused. I still don't understand why my discomfort is so amusing to some men. If you can get past this blurry and seizure-inducing, skeletal expression, you may notice a little bowl of green bits to the left.

          This is something you get used to here in korea. Sweet pickles, as a side dish, with every thinkable meal. If it isn't pickles, its corn, a pickled vegetable of a different kind, or kimchi. I don't think we've had a single meal here without one of those three things. The pizza here are slathered in 옥수수 ook soo-soo: sweet corn. Koreans locally have a penchant of making most all things either pickled, sweet, spicy, or any combination of the above. You learn to get used to it, but its definitely hard to find a savoury meal if thats what your jonesing for. Even biting into a hamburger unawares will leave you with sweet bulgogi sauce dripping onto your tongue, covering the taste of cow flesh in sugary misadventures. After a while it grows on you, and you come to understand that is what to expect when restaurant hopping around our town.





          I ate up as much of my fries as I could and drank as much of my drink, finishing long before either of the others. I took out my camera again after eating such a fine and unhealthy lunch and took in the decorations. The ceiling lighting was pretty contemporary and I found it unique and impressive. The whole place was very angular and the high seats gave you a sense of privacy within you parties. This is something different opposed to traditional korean restaurants where there is long rows of tables that you sit at on the floor, and share communally with any who come to eat.

          I could see why this was a favourable place to the locals, as privacy is hard to come by in a country that can get extremely crowded. You can tell you're in a comfortable place from all of the buzz, but still be left to your own devices in your walled-in booth fortress. I have to say I really liked it myself, being cozied back into a little corner by my lonesome, looking out on everyone else.

          I took this photo and felt a little sentimental, wondering about what home is to other people and to myself, Only to realize that this crazy new place is my home. That this is exactly where I belong right now, and that there isn't anywhere else I'm supposed to be. It's strange to know you're home, when the people you care about are extremely far away. It's hard to feel like a place, where you can barely converse with others, is the place you belong. I know when I leave I'll be missing here, though. Even these silly Australian themed paintings, on the wall of a korean restaurant.